A Facebook page I follow asked readers to perpend and respond concerning the inclusion of explicit sexual scenes in books designated Young Adult. Following is my response. I find this a very worthy discussion, one for which I have yet to reach a conclusion.
I wrote: The older I get, and my kids as well, my opinion changes. I recently fond myself having a specific conversation with my 13 year old son (who has 2 older brothers - so, very different in terms of 'maturity' than his eldest brother at 13). He told me if he'd continued 'dating' his 'ex girlfriend' they probably would've had sex before the end of the school year. As much as I wanted to 'go of' (as in 'You had better not!') I internally rolled my eyes and found myself having an open conversation with him about the circumstances in which he will one day find himself. Basically, I told him he, nor she, should have regrets on their first time when looking back on their lives from an adult perspective.
This stems from my personal experience, compared to many books I've read with both explicit sex scenes and scenes that leave one 'knowing' but without all the detail. (I think authors who can do that are very talented and for that I have much respect. Ex: Kathleen Woodiwiss.)
I find myself looking back and thinking that if I knew then, what I know now, I would know exactly what I want, what I expect/demand in a sexual partner (not to say it needs to be an act of love, I don't think it's at all necessary, and (maybe, or) maybe not wise, to only ever experience sex with the person you intend to marry), and hold them to it, or turn them away. Note, that would take a level of self-control I'm not sure I had throughout my teens, 20's & 30's.
But on the flip side, when nothing is left to the imagination, what is there left to explore on your own? Having reached that point earlier in life, one may become desensitized to thoughts and the seeking out of sexual interaction. If that happens at a younger age than is generally accepted, then in (my) theory, the YA's can move forward without the preoccupation (that many have suffered) with both the desire to have sex, and the somewhat outdated idea of finding a mate as a priority in life. This can leave them free to get educated and be more focused, travel, make waves (hopefully productive ones) as part of having a sound idea of who they are, and not who society (as perceived by the individual) expects them to be. In other words, it could help make them more independent earlier on in their lives.
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A lot of other people commented on the fact that teens/kids are introduced to sex via different media such as TV, movies, school - health classes, the internet, etc. As a result we shouldn't make is 'taboo' which will only drive them to be more interested. Others suggested parents read those books first and then either sensor (scenes or whole book) or discuss the scenes before letting the kid read the book. And many suggestions were that books should have a rating system similar to TV and film. All thoughts have merit and the suggestions for warning are spot on, in my opinion.
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